I give up

I know I have said this many times before but I give up on TTC. I do not want to actively try anymore but I do not want to prevent. After 11 months and 11 cycles TTC has taken over my life and sex life. I just want it back. So far I have not planned BDing but yet after spontaneous sex I am still driving myself crazy with “could I still have gotten pg?” “I might have o’d late”. I just don’t know how I can let this TTC go. I want really want a baby but the process to get to a baby is interrupting my life. It drives me so crazy because I have no control but yet I want to know right away when it finally happens.