Friday, April 24, 2009
Q
I saw my brother today but I did not know what to say. What can you say after 4 years of no communication. Last year he can into my work an I did not even recognize him. I talked to his wife briefly but all I could say is that you can't pick your siblings' spouses. That seemed to be why he stopped talking to me anyway, a couple months before I married my DH. I avoided Q because I get so upset about being booted from his life and it was my sister's wedding we did not need any drama. I may send him an email but I am too emotional to talk. I want to be the bigger person and try to break some ice but I don't know what I did in the first place, I don't know what to say.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
My future ???
I am such a indecisive person. I plan for everything in my life but I just can not decide what to do right now. I am one year and one month away from getting my associates degree; on one hand I would like to continue on and get my Bachelors possibly taking the CPA exam or CMA exam. On the other I just want to start making more money not spending it on school and have a family. We mutual agreed to stop TTC but if I get pg we both would be ecstatic. I wish I had that crystal ball that allowed me to see the future so I could make the decision that would benefit me and my family the most. If I finish school where I began (in a different program) I would finish in 2-3 years and cost $1080 per class plus books. If I go to the State School which has one of the best accounting programs it will take me 4-5 years because they do not accept many of my credits from the community college. I think it would cost the same regardless of what school I end up at it is just about how much time I would be spending. I am young yet so I know I have my whole life ahead of me but I the family, career, and financial security that takes people a life time now. TJ would like to see me go for my bachelors and I would like to become a CFO one day but where does family fall? I am fighting to balance school, work, and home now. If I continue on to a get a great career will I have time for a family or will I have to have someone else raise my family for me? I can not decide what is more important to me.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Life changes
DH got his job eliminated so I don't want to TTC anymore but I will not prevent. I don't know how long it will take for him to find a new job so until I feel a little bit more secure I do not want to actively TTC. If we get pg w/out trying I know we will make it because I have that much will power but any who.
I went to see my general doc yesterday because after complaining about pain, swollen gland, and sweating, my co work suggested I get a blood test to check my thyroid. I hate blood work so I went to web to find if any of my symptoms were even related before I volunteered for blood work. At the visit all my vitals and such were normal and she did not think my thyroid was swollen but we did the test anyway. She wanted to do a pg test after I told her how much pain I was in when AF came she was suspecting a possible m/c but after a week since AF I would not think there would have been any HCG but even if there was what good would that do me? DH was mad at me for not wanting to know and even had the nerve to tell me how I stressed out and stress could have triggered it. Up to AF I was not stressed, nervous because AF was late and I did not know if I was pg or not but the stress came this week when he lost his job.
Today my Doc called and did say that I have a hyperthyroid and called in a script for me. She knew that we have been TTC for a year now and did tell me that once we get my thyroid in check I should have an increased chance of getting pg. Once we do start actively ttc, I will wait for a good few months of my thyroid to be at a normal level before I get worked up about it taking so long. Now hopefully I can remember to take my pill everyday, at the same time. I failed doing this with bcp but now it seems that I have to do it to get pg eventually. I already give my kitty Stich his thyroid pill everyday so DH switched pill shifts so Stich and I will be pill buddies in the morning.(we both now have the same condition)
I went to see my general doc yesterday because after complaining about pain, swollen gland, and sweating, my co work suggested I get a blood test to check my thyroid. I hate blood work so I went to web to find if any of my symptoms were even related before I volunteered for blood work. At the visit all my vitals and such were normal and she did not think my thyroid was swollen but we did the test anyway. She wanted to do a pg test after I told her how much pain I was in when AF came she was suspecting a possible m/c but after a week since AF I would not think there would have been any HCG but even if there was what good would that do me? DH was mad at me for not wanting to know and even had the nerve to tell me how I stressed out and stress could have triggered it. Up to AF I was not stressed, nervous because AF was late and I did not know if I was pg or not but the stress came this week when he lost his job.
Today my Doc called and did say that I have a hyperthyroid and called in a script for me. She knew that we have been TTC for a year now and did tell me that once we get my thyroid in check I should have an increased chance of getting pg. Once we do start actively ttc, I will wait for a good few months of my thyroid to be at a normal level before I get worked up about it taking so long. Now hopefully I can remember to take my pill everyday, at the same time. I failed doing this with bcp but now it seems that I have to do it to get pg eventually. I already give my kitty Stich his thyroid pill everyday so DH switched pill shifts so Stich and I will be pill buddies in the morning.(we both now have the same condition)
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