Crazy

When did I become crazy? Or have I just always have been a little off? I seem to need an obsession to talk about constantly with my coworkers about. My thing right now is eating healthier so far I have eliminated milk. I can only handle small changes at a time.

I just started a new semester at school and really going to obsess about it. Up to last semester I was carrying a 4.0 until I lost focus and got an A-. I understand that is still a good grade but this is the first time in my life that I have actually done great. I never got really good grades in high school at first I got B's but I was not satisfied with that and slowly let them drop. I barely passed chemistry. I think my Chem teacher felt bad for me going crazy and gave me a D so I would not have to take the class over.

One crazy thing that I did on Saturday was I shopped for "my" baby. I was at BRUS and they were having this huge sale and I got a 6 piece bedding set, lamp, mobile, wall art, blanket, extra valence, sheet, and a blanket sleeper all for $69.13! The sale was last Fri & Sat for 75% off all clearance bedding! I got a great deal but sadly I have to add it to my collection for my future baby I have yet to conceive or adopt. Which I have come to terms even though we have not been TTC for a year I do not what to do any medical procedures until August or September this year. I would like to investigate adoption if we still have not conceived by Jan 2010. I would want to wait that long because it will take a lot of money and I will be done will my 2 yr degree in May 2010.

Reality is Back

T and I went out of town for a 2 night all inclusive resort. It was so nice to get away and forget about life at home. We really needed to have some “us” time. I know I said I would not talk about TTC but I never said I would not write about it. I do not know how we will ever conceive we just do not make time for each other and BDing. Even by going away we did not get much BDing in. I just do not understand how young teens can explore just one time and get pregnant. I can’t stop thinking about having a baby. On vacation every couple seemed to have a young baby or tot. I could not fully get away from TTC. I do not even know if I o’d this month I just have not seen any watery or egg white cm like I have normally but starting today I started to get cramps like AF was coming but it is way too early. I refuse to use OPKs because it is too late. I just have to wait.